i hate myself and love myself at the same time. i love the way i look because it's different than most people, but ihate how i get stuck on it and compare myself to every pretty little girl who i see. a little piece of me dies when i see a gorgeous girl who just might be a little prettier than me in the eyes of other. for some reason, i wanna be the best at everything i do. is that wrong? i wanna look the best and so on and so forth. what is that called? what is going on inside me that fuels that need to show off how much better i am than the girl next to me? what's worse, is that i truly feel like i am better than most people. i know that i am not, but something inside me keeps saying i am. it must be the devil. and it's causing everyone i know and around me to hate me. girls are fine. i like them, they seem to like me, but i'm waiting for the day i could just punch one becuase they are so transparent. they are just like me. but i want to be different than all the other girls. i want to stand out. i wanna be me, which in a way is better than all the rest. for some reason i truly feel like i am and it's making people hate me. i just want it to go away.

you can write me off as crazy.